Girl groups are infamous for infighting and lineup changes. Some replace members every five minutes (see Sugababes, Destiny's Child), while others carelessly lose members (see Eternal, Clea). But ocassionally a girlband's lineup changes can go literally unnoticed. This is what happened in the case of Barbara Davis.
Last September it was reported that Sarah Harding had been ejected from Girls Aloud after her late nights and hard-drinking ways forced her into rehab. With a heavy schedule ahead, the rest of the band drafted in unknown singer, Barbara.
Barbara, who happened to be shopping at a supermarket just yards away from the studio at which Girls Aloud were attending their first Sarah-less photoshoot, when Nicola came up with a (in her words) "last resort solution", and ran over to the supermarket to find a suitable replacement for Sarah. Five minutes later, Barbara was at the photoshoot, and cameras were flashing.
Unfortunately for Barbara, she had misunderstood Nicola's request, and assumed she had a full-time position in Girls Aloud. In reality, the photographer just needed someone around Sarah's height to stand in for her, for technical reasons. Sarah would be added to the images later.
Just hours later, Sarah had been 'involuntarily checked out' of rehab for being a 'considerably bad influence on the other residents'. And she was back at work with the band.
It wasn't all bad news for Barbara, though. She was lucky enough to get a lift back home with Girls Aloud, and her shopping. On the journey home, Barbara told a bemused Girls Aloud of her plans for the band, and she apparently got rather overexcited. Driver Drew described the trip as "the most excruciating journey of my life". "She didn't stop wittering on, or eating the entire way". "Okay, it only took five minutes, but have you met her?!". "She left a bloody mess in the back as well. Crisp packets and cola cans everywhere!".
Apparently the rest of the girls had to simply smile and nod.
Cheryl: "She wouldn't shut up, the fat cow!"
Nicola: "She was dead insulting
as well. I was honestly ready to hit her!"
Kimberley: "Yeah, she was a bit much. Somehow she got it into her head that she was in the band, and she she had all these plans. I t was embarassing"
Nadine: "Worst five minutes of my life. Just hearing her name makes me want to vomit"
So what ever became of Barbara? Did she enjoy the experience? We caught up with her to find out:
Barbara: "I was just happy for the exposure, innit. 'Cos of that day, I'm famous!. I've got myself an amazing singing career, a top photoshoot, and now I've got a regular slot in a top location. So it's all gravy, innit!" (Barbara released a Christmas single with BB8's Shabnam, a version of Little Donkey, which reached #254 in the charts. She did a topless photoshoot for the special 'readers wives' edition of Nuts. And now she busks outside her local Asda, for which she earns at least £2.50 a week)
"Asda's nothing to be sniffed at you know. I've seen Louise and Clea (aka Lea, Ea, Loveshy) perform there before, and they were well crap compared to me".
So deep is Barbara's love for Asda, she's even made her own short advert for the company:
So is there any biterness or regrets on Barbara's part? Surprisingly not, but she's certainly got a few words for Girls Aloud:
Barbara: "Harding, you're a faker, you bitch. You can't hack your drink you big girl's blouse. I well deserved a place in Girls Aloud more than you. My voice is bigger, my tits are bigger. I'm well fit. I would have brought class to the band".
Any final words for the girls?
Barbara: "Yeah, you can fuck right off. I prefer Sugababes to you lot anyday, you slags".
The End
Source: The Daily Bullshit Online
