Kimba obviously left her diary lying around again, the dizzy cow. I thought Sarah was the stupid one! Anyway, in this extract Kimberley has a strange dream resembling something cheesy and 80's, and it's not Fame, and it's not Dirty Dancing. :? I hear you say. You'll have to read on to find out! In this part we discover that she also managed to offend an entire nation! Blimey.
Read it here.
xx <3 xx
While chillin' out, minding their own business, having a break, having a KitKat, Girls Aloud got bombarded by photographers as they relaxed on the settee. Ever the professionals, they carried on smiling and produced some lovely photos.
Girls Aloud have filmed the new TV advert for KitKat. They were in familiar territory on the red carpet with cameras flashing left, right and centre. But there appeared to be a bit of acting going on, with Sarah being given the starring role.
Girls Aloud are on the promotional trail this week, and have split up and spread out for maximum impact. Sarah is taking advantage of the French Euro by selling the single in Paris. With the song's obvious French theme, and a French version of the single on the CD, Can't Speak French is expected to be a top 500 hit in France this week! And as a special incentive for all the French fans, Sarah is giving away a free signed French stick with every CD! These limited edition collector's items are expected to sell fast so get yourself over to France pronto!
Poor Girls Aloud :(
I went 2 dis wikkid zoo on da wkend. It waz well wierd cuz i cant rememba how i got ther or back lol. Anyways it waz full of animals dat all luked lyke GA! I waz lyke OMG!! I went up 2 this bird (actual bird in a cage, not laydee) wat had Sarahs face and i waz lyke hiya, howz it hangin saz? And she just tweeted back at me, i waz lyke woah. And then she started tryin to peck me fru the bars, tha bitch! Then i saw all da utha girls as well. Nadz an Kimba waz well nyce but Chezza tried 2 shit on me. After dat I erd a massiv roar behind me and tha next thing I nu i waz in a hospital bed wiv doctors askin wat drugs i'd been takin. I told dem my storee but they didunt beleeve me. I fink they must B sugarbabes fans lol. NEway i got sum piccies of da creetyers at Aloud Zoo. But if NE1 else haz been and spotted Nicolion, pleese send me da photo 2 girlsaloudmafia@googlemail.com, cuz id luv 2 see her 2!:
Sarah Canary:
I can't be the only one who thinks that sometimes the lives of Girls Aloud seem like a soap opera. Well sometimes they're like a horror film too! In the latest extract from the Kimberley Diaries, the girls contact evil spirits who try to lead them into trouble. What happens next? You'll have to read it to find out...
Read it here.
Girls Aloud have just signed a megabucks deal with Nestlé's KitKat. Each girl will recieve around half a million squid for fronting TV and print adverts for the chocolate bar, which will also sponsor their upcoming Tangled Up Tour. A friend of a close source to the band's people allegedly suggested that the print ads may look like something resembling these:
Each girl chose a special edition KitKat based on their personality. I can't wait to try them! I think they might be fake, though. I mean, there's no way they would make KitKats that big.
Girl groups are infamous for infighting and lineup changes. Some replace members every five minutes (see Sugababes, Destiny's Child), while others carelessly lose members (see Eternal, Clea). But ocassionally a girlband's lineup changes can go literally unnoticed. This is what happened in the case of Barbara Davis.
Last September it was reported that Sarah Harding had been ejected from Girls Aloud after her late nights and hard-drinking ways forced her into rehab. With a heavy schedule ahead, the rest of the band drafted in unknown singer, Barbara.
Barbara, who happened to be shopping at a supermarket just yards away from the studio at which Girls Aloud were attending their first Sarah-less photoshoot, when Nicola came up with a (in her words) "last resort solution", and ran over to the supermarket to find a suitable replacement for Sarah. Five minutes later, Barbara was at the photoshoot, and cameras were flashing.
Cheryl: "She wouldn't shut up, the fat cow!"
Nicola: "She was dead insulting
as well. I was honestly ready to hit her!"
Kimberley: "Yeah, she was a bit much. Somehow she got it into her head that she was in the band, and she she had all these plans. I t was embarassing"
Nadine: "Worst five minutes of my life. Just hearing her name makes me want to vomit"
Barbara: "I was just happy for the exposure, innit. 'Cos of that day, I'm famous!. I've got myself an amazing singing career, a top photoshoot, and now I've got a regular slot in a top location. So it's all gravy, innit!" (Barbara released a Christmas single with BB8's Shabnam, a version of Little Donkey, which reached #254 in the charts. She did a topless photoshoot for the special 'readers wives' edition of Nuts. And now she busks outside her local Asda, for which she earns at least £2.50 a week)
"Asda's nothing to be sniffed at you know. I've seen Louise and Clea (aka Lea, Ea, Loveshy) perform there before, and they were well crap compared to me".
Barbara: "Harding, you're a faker, you bitch. You can't hack your drink you big girl's blouse. I well deserved a place in Girls Aloud more than you. My voice is bigger, my tits are bigger. I'm well fit. I would have brought class to the band".
Barbara: "Yeah, you can fuck right off. I prefer Sugababes to you lot anyday, you slags".
Theyve already ad a massive fight wen they released Walk This Way togetha. At da video shoot, it waz all filthy looks and sukin teeth. They tryed knockin each utha out with tha hangin mic on da catwalk sceeenes, and tryed outdoin each utha in the diva steaks with there mega extravagent ryders. Quicha won, she arxed 4 gerbil's milk on her cornflakes and a ommlet made of babies.
But dis tyme there serious. Girls Aloud and Sugarbabes r releasin singles on da same day! OMG! March 17th. It iz set 2 B da biggist chart battul of da millionium! Its Can't Speak French vs. Denial (witch is well rubbish IMHO). Fing iz, da songs av bofe strtd chartin dis week so da battul starts ere! GAMAF will keep u informed on how da fight iz goin. So dont go nowear!
Ding Ding, LOL
GA went 2 da mainest aftapartee afta da Brits 2 drown there sorrows. They waz cryin B4 but they soon got ova it.
Can't Speak French
Official: #21 - (Peak: #9)
iTunes: #24 - (Peak: #11)
iTunes Pop: #10 - (Peak: #4)
Sales: 85,000 approx.
Call The Shots
Official: #78 - (Peak: #3)
iTunes: #103 - (Peak: #1)
iTunes Pop: #40- (Peak: #1)
Sales: 211,000 approx.
Tangled Up
Official: #16 - (Peak: #4)
iTunes: #17 - (Peak: #2)
iTunes Pop: #8 - (Peak: #2)
Midweeks: #15 - (Peak: #2)
Sales: 340,000 approx.
The Sound Of Girls Aloud
iTunes: #96
iTunes Pop: #24
iTunes Videos:
Can't Speak French: #7 (#4 in Pop)
St. Trinian's Chant: #12 X (#6 & #41 in Pop)
Biology: #53 (#42 in Pop)
Megamix: #91 (#13 in Pop)
